Adults' Candy
by littleredpeach
Summary: A secret stash of sake. The near destruction of Seireitei. The missing link? A certain pink-haired lieutenant.


"…telling you Rangiku-san. I have no idea where any of his private collections are. There is a reason they are private."

"Oh, come on, Nanao-chan. I know you know where they are. You're just refusing to tell me."

"I have very good reason to not tell you," Ise Nanao replied.

"Please," Matsumoto begged, pouting and batting her eyelashes at her friend.

Ise sighed. She knew that Matsumoto would not stop pestering her for the locations of the eighth captain's private stashes of sake. Then a thought began growing in her head, and Ise knew that her idea would be excellent.

"Fine. I'll tell you. But I will only tell you one, and you will not ask me for any more. Understood?" she demanded.

Matsumoto nodded eagerly. She knew Kyoraku had hundreds of bottles of sake, no matter how many times Ise tried to get rid of them all. The way she saw it, she was doing her friend a favour by getting rid of them.

As Ise told Matsumoto the location of one of her captain's stashes of sake, she felt quite pleased with herself. Not only was the stash one of his greater stashes, the drinks were hidden in a great variety of bottles. On top of that, several different drinks were held there, decreasing the chances of finding any sake. Little did she know that she had been overheard when she divulged the location of the sake stash to Matsumoto.

"I will never understand what it is you find so appealing about it. It's so…"

"Wonderful beyond description," the busty strawberry blonde inserted.

"I was thinking something rather different," came the dry reply.

"It's like children's candy. While you know it may be slightly bad for you, it's just so good and delicious that you can't not have it."

With those words, the unnoticed eavesdropper slunk away in search of the mysterious stash of items.

* * *

Kusajishi Yachiru raced towards the location of the mysterious candy, her mind filled with thoughts of what it looked like, what it tasted like, whether she knew it, and so on. When she arrived at the nondescript building that housed the fabled candy, Yachiru was almost drooling at the thought of eating this candy soon.

Entering the building, she looked around curiously. It was filled with bottles of all shapes and sizes. Stacked in piles here and there were also unmarked wooden crates. Wandering over to the closest bottle, she opened it and looked inside. She was surprised to find that the candy was in liquid form. This was a surprise to her, and she immediately drank the entire bottle. As she put the bottle down, she mulled over the taste of the candy. Although it was strange, tasted slightly funny and heated her 

throat a bit, she knew that this candy was definitely very interesting, and opened a bottle that was taller and slimmer than the previous bottle. She opened that, peeked inside and downed the bottle in an instant as well. She found this to be quite similar to the one she had before, although it didn't warm her throat as much. Something tickled the back of her mind. Something seemed familiar, but she couldn't place what it was. Feeling slightly giddy, she made the decision to drink every bottle in the room because she would never waste candy, especially when it was forgotten, which was obvious because everything was covered in a slight layer of dust.

Several hours later, Kusajishi Yachiru had gone through the entire room, bottles and crates. She felt extremely light-headed and was grinning widely, giggling and hiccupping every now and then. As she looked around the room, she saw Madarame lounging on the ground. She pounced on him, but he had disappeared. Yachiru looked around in confusion. She could have sworn she saw Baldy lying on the floor just a moment ago. She was annoyed that he had managed to disappear so quickly. Very, very annoyed. Feeling unusually frustrated and angry, she lashed out at the spot where she thought Madarame had been. As the smoke cleared, all that remained of the floor was a very large and deep hole. As she saw this, Yachiru felt much better and decided to go look for… something.

Grabbing her zanpakuto-to, Yachiru raced out of the building, thoughts of finding something already gone. Instead, she decided to play hide-and-seek with the citizens of Seireitei. Emitting high-pitched giggles, she ran along the streets, quickly hiding and quieting when she saw someone. As an unfortunate and unsuspecting shinigami patrolled down his street, Yachiru exulted in the fact that the man was bald, just like Baldy. When the man passed her, Yachiru leapt out of the shadows, open mouth landing on and covering the man's shiny head. The man shrieked, his arms flapping around in an attempt to dislodge the eleventh division lieutenant from his head. Yachiru released the man's head laughing loudly, and disappeared, already around the corner within a second. The first victim already forgotten, Yachiru looked around for someone more entertaining to amuse her.

As she dashed along the paths, she turned a corner and ran into another male shinigami. He fell back, stammering out apologies. When he noticed an abrupt increase in reiatsu, his voice rose to an extremely high pitch and he stammered out apologies as if his life depended on it. Yachiru looked at the boy in front of her, with his shoulder length black hair, and vaguely noted the fourth division uniform. He had interrupted her game of hide-and-seek and she was going to make sure he paid the consequences for it. Growling, her eyes flashed dangerously and a massive pink dragon formed around the tiny lieutenant. A strong wind picked up, battering at the two shinigami. Before he knew it, the poor shinigami was picked up off the ground and hurled along the street, landing very far away. Stone erupted around him, landing dangerously close to the weaker and more vulnerable parts of the body. Screaming and yelling, the poor boy tried to crawl away from the danger he was in, but found it very difficult because large slabs of stone were falling all over the place. Yachiru became extremely frustrated because she could no longer find the target of her alcohol-induced rage. Lashing out once more, she destroyed the surrounding walls and floor. By the time the dust had cleared and settled, Yachiru was feeling much better and set off again to entertain herself.

After several hours of terrorising various shinigami and destroying a good portion of Seireitei, Yachiru had a very sore and throbbing head and felt extremely tired. As she wandered over to her quarters in the eleventh division buildings, her body became increasingly heavy and uncoordinated. 

Staggering through the halls of eleventh division, she barely made it into the main office before she collapsed, unconscious.

* * *

Zaraki Kenpachi arrived back from a mission to Soul Society, to find that a very large portion of the maze that protected Seireitei was in ruins and shinigami were scattered throughout the place, trying to put everything back together. Sighing, he wondered who exactly had given Yachiru sake.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys. So that was my first fanfiction ever – I'd greatly appreciate any comments or constructive criticisms. Suggestions for improvement would also be nice. Thanks.**


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